There are so many dynamics at play when we talk about fiscal equality. I believe that the clear economic segregation practiced in various ways among Friends is the outward sign of a much deeper and ingrained problem. Many of us wear economic blinders and choose not to see the pain that others who are poor but are working hard to 'pass' feel. Many of the poor among us feel ashamed and diminished and so, work to 'pass'. When we suggest that they should ask their meetings, regions, etc. for financial aid we reinforce those feelings.
For many years I too tried to 'pass'. Now, as I work for peace and justice it is clear to me that part of my leading is to witness. To be the voice that says "this is what it's like to be poor in the Religious Society of Friends": to continually lift this uncomfortable reality up and to try to find ways to help to heal it.
I have learned to ask for financial help. This too is part of the witness that I am called to. To lift up that it is not only OK to ask but a blessing to both the receiver and the giver. As we begin to talk about fiscal equality and the sharing of resources we need to learn to be open with one another about what our fiscal resources are and where the need lies.
I believe that when we have been hurt by another we have a responsibility to share with that person (organization)that they have hurt us. Sometimes that means exposing our innermost weaknesses; our pain; our fears. Yet, without living into this in Love we have withheld the information that may help another to open to change. It is a "conscious act of Love" - an opening on the road to Peace. This is not always an easy thing to do. And yet, it is what we are called to. To those who have been hurt, including those who are fiscally poor, I hope you will let your voices be heard so that we can begin to find our way to healing.
I have come to believe and to accept this bit of guidance from 2 Corinthians 8:13-15 “There is no question of relieving others at the cost of hardship to yourselves; it is a question of equality. At the moment your surplus meets their need, but one day your need may be met from their surplus. The aim is equality; as Scripture has it, 'The man who got much has no more than enough, and the man who got little did not go short.””
Or, in the words of John Woolman, in his Plea for the Poor:
“O that we who declare against wars, and acknowledge our trust to be in God only, may walk in the light, and therein examine our foundation and motives in holding great estates! May we look upon our treasures, the furniture of our houses, and our garments, and try whether the seeds of war have nourishment in these our possessions. Holding treasures in the self-pleasing spirit is a strong plant, the fruit whereof ripens fast. A day of outward distress is coming, and Divine love calls to prepare against it.”
I am grateful to all those who have helped to meet my fiscal need and to those who have helped in various ways to support me as I live into my leading to work for Peace.
It is very difficult for me to ask for help or to let on to anyone that I am in pain. I do a much better job of it in my writing. I never want to "bother anyone" with my concerns. It is so much easier to speak out on behalf (or in defense) of others than of myself. I realize there are many ways I might have been closer to people if I had not been afraid to tell them what I needed.
ReplyDeleteThis is definitely not an easy practice. There are many times when I feel close to sick with worry about how I'll be perceived or if I'll be heard or if I'll be turned away as I approach another to ask for help or to share that they've hurt me. (Look at all the "I"s - it really isn't about me.) It is only when I can truly accept that it is the most Loving thing to do that I begin to find the required strength. The more I practice, the lighter it is to carry.
ReplyDeleteThere are also many more poor, "not among us" as Friends, but very much among us as human beings-- and they, like we, have been customarily getting the short end (and in pain from getting thumped with it!) some very long time; I'd like that fixed too! (It is a deep flaw in our present SoF that this still seems like "charity" to most of us, rather than coming from a recognition that "The poor are us.")
ReplyDeleteWhere Acts says that the early Church in Jerusalem held everything in common, so that "Not a man of them claimed any of his possessions as his own," it also says that "The whole body of believers was united in heart in soul." I don't think we're at that point; if we were, like them we would recognize being called together to carry out a common mission.
Curious about the source of Paul saying "the man who got much has not more than enough" etc.-- That was quoting from Exodus: the people wandering in the desert and living on manna, on God's free gift. But that manna had a valuable property: being utterly perishable. You couldn't make one person gather it while another person stored it up, to live comfortably on other people's overwork.
I've asked for and received a great deal of financial aid from my Meeting, and my Yearly Meeting, for things like attending Yearly Meeting. No one has tried to make me uncomfortable about this... but as I age, I'm more and more confronted with a question of my own, how much my presence is still worth their expense. It isn't necessarily bad for me to have to ponder this, not to beat myself up, but to move me to seek more understanding and attunement, to "have" something worth transporting anywhere.
My meeting tends to have a lot of announcements in the last couple of months of the year about needing more financial contributions for the budget to break even. These can be very hard to listen to week after week, when I can't afford to give money. After a Friend heard that this was truly a concern for me, her committee came up with ways for those making such announcements to acknowledge that money is only one of the ways that people give to the meeting, and that those who are able are welcome to donate in that way.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate your post grappling with these issues.
ReplyDeleteAnd I've been writing about and thinking about and reading about and listening to people about social class and Friends for several years now. A lot of people (including Friends) confuse lack of financial resources with poverty, or equate having money as being middle or owning class.
People who have been raised middle or owning class who are choosing work that doesn't pay well often feel entitled to financial aid to feel "equal" among Friends (able to go to regional or national gatherings, for instance). Some people who are working class or poor aren't told in our society that they have that right and so don't ask for it.
This is another way "inequality" doesn't show itself among Friends--because we don't have deep conversations about social class, we don't get at some of the subtle ways social class oppression keeps people "unequal".
Jeanne
Forrest, I agree completely that those not among Friends suffer equally and that does need to be addressed. I believe that the Religious Society of Friends has the potential to effect Society at large in many arenas. To my mind, that means beginning the work within our own lives, our homes, our meetings. Until we do that, we will not have the moral authority to carry issues forward. If we do not, as members of the Religious Society of Friends, actively live into our testimonies we do not have moral ground to ask others to do the same.
ReplyDeleteJeanne, Fiscal inequality is particularly insidious for exactly the reasons that you mention. As a child I was taught that you don't talk about money - I suspect that many of us were taught that. Without overcoming that prohibition and finding an openness to talking about what we have and do not have and how we are affected by these circumstances - what we can and cannot do, it will be extremely difficult to find our way to equality in this arena.
ReplyDeleteI think it is extremely important to remember that gifts of the Spirit are not and never have been predicated upon fiscal wealth. Those who are fiscally poor may be spiritually rich and those who are fiscally rich maybe spiritually poor.