“Die before you die. There is no chance after.” C. S. Lewis
“Wash yourself of yourself. Be melting snow.” Rumi
The secret to life is to “die before you die” – and find that
there is no death.” Eckhart Tolle
Many years ago I asked a friend who was a Roman Catholic
Sister of St. Joseph named Anne, if she would be willing to work with me as my
Spiritual Director. Anne was trained and
experienced in this work. I was
delighted when she agreed to work with me.
Even though we were friends, this relationship, and Anne’s approach to
it, was quite different. Early on in our
first meeting she asked me if I had any goals.
What popped out of me, almost immediately, was a surprise to us
both. I said that my goal was to find
unity with God, and then I took a very deep breath as tears streamed down my
face. That was more than twenty years
ago.
Over the years since then there have been times when I have
been clear that I was being well used by Spirit: When I brought reports to New York Yearly
Meeting Annual Sessions around the work of Peacemaking and around Fiscal
Equality I would come to realize that the words that I was speaking were no
longer coming from my head, but from my heart; that they were not my words and
I would know that it was Spirit speaking through me. When I bring a message in Meeting for Worship
that comes through me and is not of me.
When I do hands on healing work and am faithful to the energy that
passes through me and to the Leadings of the Spirit. All of these are tastes of unity with Creator
that make me hungrier than ever to live in that Presence full time! It is that hunger that drew me to
Participating in God’s Power.
So far, the School of the Spirit’s Participating in God’s Power program has been a deep, cleansing breath. It invites us to journey into the very center of our beings to engage in soul wrenching, Spirit awakening and uplifting work that we, a cohort of fourteen, plus our teachers, step into together. It is lots of reading that helps to open way as we learn to listen to each other and to the promptings of Spirit in our own and each other’s lives. It is difficult, challenging work that leaves us with tears of joy, and sorrow, and sometimes fear. But today, it feels most important to lift up that we are learning, and relearning, that the path to Spirit is strewn with boulders of our own making. Boulders of pain and misunderstandings and grief that have been left unforgiven, unhealed, unheeded, that separate us from that place where Spirit is indwelling, and from Spirit that abounds outside our beings and in all places. I am now journeying through and among my boulders; coming to embrace them as I learn to make peace with each one of them. I have begun the conscious journey of dying. I am grateful to you who journey with me.
