Die before you die.

 

“Give over thine own willing, give over thy own running, give over thine own desiring to know or be anything and sink down to the seed which God sows in the heart, and let that grow in thee and be in thee and breathe in thee and act in thee; and thou shalt find by sweet experience that the Lord knows that and loves and owns that, and will lead it to the inheritance of Life, which is its portion.”  Isaac Penington, 1661

 

I was first introduced to this Penington quote when it was chanted by Paulette Meier during a School of the Spirit; Participating in God’s Power weekend workshop.  I found it to be deeply powerful.  To my mind, it is Penington’s slightly longer and more illuminating version of the age-old spiritual injunction to “die before you die”.

 

Clearly, it does not speak of a physical death but of all that is in us that fights against what Spirit would have us do as opposed to what we think we ought to do (ego?).  A learning for me has been that just because I’m doing something that I think is good work even when others lift that work up with great acclaim (perhaps especially when that happens) it does not mean that it is the work that Spirit would have me do in that place and time.  I may well be led to that work by my ego and not by Spirit.  For Quakers in particular, understanding, clearly hearing the work that Spirit plants in our hearts, is not a solitary pursuit.  When we believe that we have received a leading from Spirit, we are called on to test that leading with other Friends, (potentially in a clearness committee) to discern if it is truly Spirit led and, even when our leading has been affirmed, we do not carry that work alone, rather we carry it with the constant guidance of trusted friends often gathered as a support committee.  We are thus wrapped in an amazing cocoon of Love and deep discernment.

 

I have been deeply blessed as I open my heart, mind, and soul to the guidance of Spirit. I work to remain open to following Spirit’s leadings in the company of Friends.  In Caroline Fox’s (1819-1871) Journal, she described hearing an inner voice or feeling an articulation in her spirit: "Live up to the light thou hast, and more will be granted thee."  May it be so.

Listening in Tongues

I recently had a conversation with a couple of dear F/friends about how Quakers name
our higher power and how we hear and understand one another. Some of us use
language that mirrors our Christian beginnings with Jesus, Christ, God, etc. Some of us
are uncomfortable with those names. Some of us use Goddess. Others are
uncomfortable with that. Still others try to use words that might be less offensive to all,
like Divine, Spirit, All that is, etc. As we come together in worship sharing, spiritual
formation, and other gatherings it is not uncommon to hear the admonition to “Listen in
tongues.” meaning that we may translate another’s word(s) to align with for our own
understanding and comfort. For quite some time I was all too happy to grab on to this
seemingly easy solution. Until this conversation.

I was recently at a weekend retreat at a Roman Catholic abbey with a group of Quakers.
Many of those Friends reacted with great discomfort to being in the presence of
traditional Christian paintings and statues. Some thought we should cover these items
or take them down until we were leaving. My sense was that we need not embrace these
things as our own, but that in our attempt to be understanding and open to how others
believe; to how they understand their faith, we might open our hearts and minds to
acknowledge a different way and that different ways of understanding our relationships
with God are integral to our human experience. I remembered this as my friends and I
talked. They lifted up this same sense in relation to language. Each of us has a different
relationship to Spirit of necessity as we are all different. I wonder if, in this effort to
translate the way others speak of God into language that we are comfortable with we
don’t risk losing the ability to truly hear the speaker. I wonder if in some way we don’t
dishonor the speaker or even perhaps unintentionally elevate our own understanding
over theirs. It can be uncomfortable and challenging to listen deeply and to hear the
speaker no matter what words they choose to use. In my experience, being challenged
and made uncomfortable is often at the cutting edge of spiritual growth.

I am often surprised by how much is opened for me in this sort of brief exchange when I
open to truly listening and hearing. I am continuing to hold this new opening. I invite
you to join me.

Am I enough?

 

I don’t know about you, but I ask myself this question often.  It happens in almost every aspect of my life: from caring for my grandkids, to grocery shopping, to committee work, to sitting on a Board, to sitting in worship.

 The next step is interrogating myself: Enough for what?  What variety of enough?  Smart enough?  Fast enough?  Loving enough?  Caring enough?  And who gets to say if I’m enough?   And then, perhaps the biggest of them all – Why am I questioning if I am enough?  That too is layered.  Does everyone ask this of themselves?  Does it come from my childhood?  From a lack of affirmation?  Does it come from striving to be authentic in the world?  Finally, there comes an answer.

 I am enough. I acknowledge that each and every one of God’s children, with all of our variations – all that makes us different and yes, all the things that make us the same – each and every one of us, is enough.  Each and every one of us, no matter what we may seem outwardly, is the same inwardly, where Spirit resides.    When I hold my belief, Friends belief, that we each have that of God within I understand it to be the great equalizer.  It is the starting point in coming to know another human being, no matter our differences, no matter what that person has done.  When the first thing I see when I meet another is the Light that they carry within I know that we are the same and I know that no matter our differences, we are each enough.

Violence

 

Violence 

What is violence?   As a young person – probably into my teens, when I thought of violence it was always an act of physical violence.  Someone hit someone else.  It could be a slap a kick, a punch, or something far more egregious.   That was the extent of my understanding of violence.

 As I grew older, and possibly a bit wiser, I opened to the understanding of deeper forms of pain; different kinds of violence.  The pain of being scarred emotionally or psychologically can be far more challenging to heal.  Friends of a certain generation will remember the saying “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me.”  Most of us have come to know that our bones almost always heal, but the pain inflicted on our psyches lingers and lingers.   We can probably all think of instances when that type of pain was inflicted on us and conversely, when we may have inflicted that type of pain on someone else, sometimes in anger, sometimes out of malice, other times in ignorance.  Whatever the reason that scar remains with us.  Perhaps it really isn’t so very different from the lifelong limp from a broken leg or the ache in a broken bone when it rains.  All reminders of the pain we have endured. 

There can be great sorrow here.  There can also be great hope as we open our hearts to accept Spirit’s healing Love and, as we are healed we find that we are able to open our hearts to whoever perpetrated pain of any kind and harmed us.  When we are able to offer forgiveness to others, we find freedom within ourselves