Children of the Light

I am filled to overflowing with the grief: overwhelmed with a deep and incredible pain - struggling to find the words to express it. I am not grieving for any individual in particular but for many who call themselves Children of the Light; members of the Religious Society of Friends.

There is a Spirit that can so fill us; so enrich our lives and bring us incredible Joy. I yearn for everyone to know that Spirit. For most of us it does not happen without both yearning and an openness - without faith. Without the understanding that we must be willing to give of ourselves - to commit ourselves to walk in the Light. Receiving also means being willing to give of ourselves.

I know all of this sounds very vague - "What on earth is she talking about?" I'm talking about the core of our faith that so many Friends seem to have somehow lost sight of - lost faith in. I'm talking about "divine unmediated revelation" (Rufus Jones). That belief that God can and will speak directly to us and through us. That when we are able to say "Yes!", to give over our will to God/Spirit/All/That which is Unknowable/The Divine, than we become God's eyes, ears, hands, and voice in the world. Our will is given over to God's Will. How utterly amazing! How completely joy filled! I have had this experience. I say this not because it makes me any more but so that everyone knows that they too can have this experience. There have been occasions in my life when I have said "yes" to God's clear voice. I believe it is what we are all called to. I will not say it has always been easy but for each time I say "yes" it gets easier the next time. I now know that God will walk with me guiding me every step of the way and that there is nothing on earth to compare with the Joy and the Peace which passes all understanding that I experience. So how can I not grieve when I know what so many are missing?

Many of today's Children of the Light have yet to experience this Joy. Indeed they do not accept that it is possible - for them, I weep.

Living up to the Light

Many years ago as a new Friend I pondered just what it meant to believe that there is that of God in everyone. I finally came to accept the Truth of this core belief and to see it as what I call "the Great Equalizer". It is what unfailingly makes each of us the same. It is the starting point that each of us has at the moment of our creation and provides the most important choice that we can ever make in the course of our lifetimes: "Will I fan that spark until it becomes an all consuming flame and allow the Light of Love to be my guide?" or "Will I ignore the spark?" effectively placing a rock upon it so that it lacks oxygen and must expend all it's energy simply keeping my body alive in hopes that my soul may awaken. I know those who chose to fan the spark. They are filled with unimaginable Joy and they glow with Love from the Spirit. I also know those who have not yet accepted the existence of this incredible gift. They struggle against the sorrows and trials of unbelief without the Loving guidance of the Spirit. In 1841 Caroline Fox explained it this way: “Live up to the Light thou hast and more will be granted thee.”

Friends often choose not to talk with one another about our faith; our spirituality. My personal perception is that, because we see our personal belief systems as diverse we shy away from these discussions usually because we are afraid of offending one another or of being offended. Yet, if each of us can say with honesty and clarity that we believe that there is that of God within each of us, there is a starting place. This is our common ground. It is where we all come together. Let us begin there.

As Friends, we yearn for a renaissance: for growth and outreach, a spreading of the Word. I find myself wondering if we are as a community traversing the dark night of the soul: That time of spiritual dryness and pain when we feel that God is far from us. It can be a time of frustration and fear. I remember Sister Ellen Stephen of the Order of St. Helena sharing her understanding that we sit in the midst of the darkness because the Light is so bright that we cannot see - that the dark night is a time to deepen our faith and prepare - that there is often revelation awaiting us and we will see it clearly when the time is right.

I believe that our time will be right when we can talk to each other with openness and clarity about who we, as Friends are, and what we believe: When we can see and touch the Universal Light within that we all carry and make the choice to fan the flame.

Many Blessings

How do I learn to trust more in God than in humankind? Or is it the same? Perhaps when I trust in God I must also learn to trust humankind and come to believe in our own innate goodness. I must not only say but truly accept and believe in my heart of hearts that God/Spirit/All/The Divine is present in each and every person - even in me. Perhaps the last is the hardest. Each of us have suffered traumas in our lives. Sometimes those traumas make us feel so much less than we truly are: less lovable and loved. I struggle with my own insecurities and doubts and am filled with wonder at the possibility that Love, any love, could be absolutely unconditional - could love me in that way. At the same time, I acknowledge that my love for my children is unconditional and in doing so acknowledge that the Love of God is so profound as to be beyond my limited human understanding. It is then that I know that God Loves me, and all of humankind, no matter what evil or folly we may engage in.

I look at the ills of our world: the tremendous imbalance of wealth while so many die of disease and hunger, human trafficking, despoiling our Mother Earth, Wars, all kinds of discrimination and so much more. I do not see these things as the work of God's Hand but rather of the hand of humankind. It is what happens when we refuse to acknowledge and to act on the Love that is - can be - so much a part of who we are. Acknowledging that Love is the first step toward Peace: That inward Peace that passes all understanding and that brings with it a Joy far beyond what I could possibly have imagined. When I choose not to acknowledge and to act on that Love often my baser human wants unfold. We need Love, we want wealth and power. When I accept and act out of the Love of God within I, and the world, takes one more step toward Peace.

Years ago I read a small book that shared Native American wisdom. In it was a teaching about the seven directions: North, South, East, West, Up, Down, Within.
Each direction had it purpose: the East with beginnings, the West with endings and so on. Within was reserved for God and the reason was so that we should never have to look for God; only remember Him*. I live by myself and sometimes wish for companionship on this journey. When I find myself in that place I know that I have not spent enough time within - acknowledging that I am never alone: that I am always Loved.

In this time in my life when I am so deeply engaged in working for Peace and find myself in dire financial straits because of that commitment I cling to my Faith. To the knowledge that God works through others and to Jesus' reminder that, if we ask, it will be given. Help has come in so many ways; a Wegman's Grocery Store shopping card, fresh produce, help from my monthly meeting and the prospect of help from my Yearly Meeting.** God, working through my human family, is amazing! Thanks be to God.


*(I need to say that my personal understanding of the Divine is neither Male nor female but that I tend to use male pronouns simply because that was the teaching of my youth.)

** Some of you have expressed a desire to help as well. I am grateful to you and would be happy to talk with you about possibilities. You can e-mail me at gemjourneytopeace@gmail.com.

Fiscal equality

There are so many dynamics at play when we talk about fiscal equality. I believe that the clear economic segregation practiced in various ways among Friends is the outward sign of a much deeper and ingrained problem. Many of us wear economic blinders and choose not to see the pain that others who are poor but are working hard to 'pass' feel. Many of the poor among us feel ashamed and diminished and so, work to 'pass'. When we suggest that they should ask their meetings, regions, etc. for financial aid we reinforce those feelings.

For many years I too tried to 'pass'. Now, as I work for peace and justice it is clear to me that part of my leading is to witness. To be the voice that says "this is what it's like to be poor in the Religious Society of Friends": to continually lift this uncomfortable reality up and to try to find ways to help to heal it.

I have learned to ask for financial help. This too is part of the witness that I am called to. To lift up that it is not only OK to ask but a blessing to both the receiver and the giver. As we begin to talk about fiscal equality and the sharing of resources we need to learn to be open with one another about what our fiscal resources are and where the need lies.

I believe that when we have been hurt by another we have a responsibility to share with that person (organization)that they have hurt us. Sometimes that means exposing our innermost weaknesses; our pain; our fears. Yet, without living into this in Love we have withheld the information that may help another to open to change. It is a "conscious act of Love" - an opening on the road to Peace. This is not always an easy thing to do. And yet, it is what we are called to. To those who have been hurt, including those who are fiscally poor, I hope you will let your voices be heard so that we can begin to find our way to healing.

I have come to believe and to accept this bit of guidance from 2 Corinthians 8:13-15 “There is no question of relieving others at the cost of hardship to yourselves; it is a question of equality. At the moment your surplus meets their need, but one day your need may be met from their surplus. The aim is equality; as Scripture has it, 'The man who got much has no more than enough, and the man who got little did not go short.””

Or, in the words of John Woolman, in his Plea for the Poor:
“O that we who declare against wars, and acknowledge our trust to be in God only, may walk in the light, and therein examine our foundation and motives in holding great estates! May we look upon our treasures, the furniture of our houses, and our garments, and try whether the seeds of war have nourishment in these our possessions. Holding treasures in the self-pleasing spirit is a strong plant, the fruit whereof ripens fast. A day of outward distress is coming, and Divine love calls to prepare against it.”

I am grateful to all those who have helped to meet my fiscal need and to those who have helped in various ways to support me as I live into my leading to work for Peace.

Blog comments

Many readers have in various ways let me know that they have been unable to post comments to this blog. I have reviewed the settings and believe that I have corrected that glitch. Please try again!

Enigmatic Friends

Modern Friends are to me, an enigma. We have testimonies and advises and queries to help guide our path as we seek to walk toward God: to help us weigh our actions and behaviors both toward ourselves and others. At the same time society tells us that we need to look straight ahead - to mind our own business - to not intrude on another's affairs. Simultaneously, our faith and practice calls us to be accountable for and to those that we are in community with; our families, our monthly meetings, the towns in which we live, our quarters and yearly meetings. We cannot practice integrity and live by both. If we truly want to reach out to one another in Love: than we must risk being openly loving and genuinely concerned.

I believe that we are often particularly challenged by our testimony of equality. We struggle hard with questions of sexual orientation and race and the more overt forms of discrimination but confronting questions of fiscal equality seem to be particularly difficult and elusive. I'm sure that some of the discomfort comes from the fact that we've been taught not to discuss our financial circumstances. Society often equates the amassing of money and belongings as a measure of success. Those who are fiscally poor are often ashamed despite the myriad of other gifts that they may possess. I am fiscally poor and so speak from my own experience and from sharing with others in this circumstance. When we exclude anyone from our body for financial or other reasons; wittingly or unwittingly, we as a community, are immeasurably poorer.

I recently attended a large Quaker gathering that ran for several days. There was not enough room for everyone attending to stay in one building and so there were many different types of housing on campus ranging from a quite comfortable hotel to a very rustic, musty bunk house up a very steep hill. There were significant differences in the cost of these accommodations and so those who are comfortable financially stay in comfortable accommodations and those who are not so well off fiscally stay in the less expensive accommodations. The result is economic segregation. There, I've said it. Quakers practicing segregation! This gathering has taken place at this venue for decades and yet, to my knowledge, no one has spoken this until now.

The question of how we move to a place of economic equality is huge and looms over us at every turn. Understanding how to share our resources (fiscal and otherwise) is incredibly important as we attempt to live into our testimonies. It is also important because until we can actually begin to face and work on our own problems we have little moral authority to speak with others about theirs. It is a huge piece of the puzzle as we work toward Peace and Justice within our own communities and so, despite the discomfort of lifting it up, of drawing open the curtain to expose our own sores, we must proceed. It is not only the health and wholeness of the Religious Society of Friends that depend upon it but our communities - indeed, the world community.

Old woman?

I recently received an affirmation that was both wonderful and thought provoking. A young women wrote "I want to be like you when I will be old woman." I was certainly flattered that anyone would want to be like me although I am definitely not ready to think of myself as an old woman! I also felt the weight of responsibility to be a role model, no matter how passing, for another. As I traveled home from Tbilisi there was plenty of time to ruminate and I found myself thinking about my life. If I were to live to be ninety, my life would now be two thirds over. It feels like a good time to think about where I've been and the possibilities for the next thirty years or so.

There have been many wonderful as well as difficult times in my past but, aside from raising my three daughters and now being enfolded in their love and friendship, I find difficulty in enumerating those things. I know that my spiritual life has been rich and continues to deepen even as it broadens to encompass many different faith traditions and ways of understanding Spirit. My personal goal, above all else is to seek unity with God. Striving for that goal often takes great courage. It means saying "yes" to the leadings of the Spirit even when I think that the work is too difficult or when I am afraid. It means speaking out when I see injustice and opening my arms in love to embrace the wounded. It means being willing to risk further pain and rejection to share with others when they have hurt me or a loved one. It means accepting and acting on the fact that everyone is a Loved one. It means knowing that any pain that I may suffer in the name of Love is compensated in Joy. It means living into the prayer that was given to me while in silent worship: Let my words be thy words. Let my hands be thy hands. Help me to be your Peace. And so, it seems that there is no set plan for the future aside from working hard to be faithful to the leadings of Spirit as I seek to be at one with God.