Sakartvelo 5/30/10

Almost two weeks of my five week stay here are done. Today we did some sightseeing in the Eastern part of Sakartvello. It's a very beautiful part of the country that I had not seen before. The Georgians call it desert because it is very dry in the months of July, August and September but right now it is lush and green rolling pastureland. There are no fences and large herds of both sheep and cattle roam free over the land. I asked who owned the land and found that it is owned by the government and so everyone is free to use it. The end of our journey took us to David Gareja Monastery which was started in the third century. It is very close to Georgia's border with Armenia. It has been attacked,burned and rebuilt several times. The Turks and Mongols in the earliest times. The last interruption was during soviet days but today this incredible monastery, carved into the rock, is once again inhabited by Georgian Orthodox monks. Tomorrow, Sunday here, is the election of the mayor of Tbilisi. This will mark the first democratic election of a mayor of Tbilisi and there is much excitement. The last week has seen pamphletting on the sidewalks as we normally see in the US. Misha is a member of a political party and so has committed to working at the polls so I will not see him tomorrow. A thunder and lightning storm is starting and likely to take out our electricity so I'll sign off. Utilities in Tiblisi are rather tentative at best. In this flat I never have water between 3:00pm and 6:00 pm.

Sakartvelo 5/27/10

Maia I have just completed the first AVP workshop to take place in the Republic of Georgia in more than eight years. This was a mixed gender workshop which, in this culture proved to be very difficult. The woman's place is taking care of her husband and her children and to be obedient. There were a couple of men in the workshop who were very gracious and courtly in their behavior and also, without realizing it, quite belittling. I feel that I need to provide balance between one facilitator who immediately falls into the Georgian woman's role and another who is a strong feminist and would like to see this change NOW. I think that sometimes it is hard, when we want something so badly for someone else, to accept that they are the ones who must determine what is right and wrong themselves. They are the ones who must want the change before they can move toward change. Nonetheless, we do have several good prospects in this group to invite to be trained as AVP facilitators. Things in Sakartvelo have changed for the better since my last visit in the winter of 2009. I can see that some buildings have been painted and some roads paved. The parking lot at the airport no longer has gaping holes. In some places I can see and hear new construction. At the same time some of the big building that were started ground to a halt during the financial crisis. Many of those have not recommenced building since there are no more funds available. On my last visit here I was warned not to go out alone. Now, it feels safe to walk on the street alone during the day, although I have been warned that I should not go out at night.   It is so clear that I am not from Sakartvelo! Women here almost always wear black slacks or black skirts and almost never wear blue jeans. Their blouses are usually dark colors with a sweater on even when it's really too warm for one. Men seem much freer to wear whatever colors they please! My skin is fairer and I am taller so it's really very easy to pick me out in the crowd! Tomorrow I will go sightseeing with Misha and Maia as well as trying to accomplish all of the household things that have been left undone. I'll buy a wash basin on the way home from the internet cafe so that I can wash my clothes, do some cleaning, and try to prepare for our next workshop. The next AVP workshop will begin on Tuesday or Wednesday of next week with an organization of refugee women. I am very much looking forward to working with them.

Sakartvelo 5/24/10

The last couple of days have been filled with preparations for our first Alternatives to Violence Project (AVP) workshops. We've been to market to buy food & supplies for our AVP participants. Yesterday Maia and I met with two former AVP facilitators that Maia knows. Both were shocked by the thought of facilitating an AVP workshop without receiving a stipend for doing the work of AVP. We shared our understanding that AVP is a volunteer program for both facilitators and participants, explaining why that is important including that is it one way in which we maintain equality. We lifted up our own experiences that when the work comes from a place of love for and belief in the work and those we are working with that it is very different than when it is driven by a need or desire for money. I don't know if these two women will return. Today we spent the day planning for our first workshop and meeting with our translator, Natalie. Natalie seems very excited and enthusiastic not only to be working with us but about our process. Tomorrow we begin. Our first workshop will run from 11:00 am to 7:00 pm for the next three days with facilitators beginning a half hour earlier and staying a half hour later. They will take place in the flat where we are staying. We will begin with some of the Friends from Tbilisi Worship Group and two refugees for a total of ten participants. The first workshop will be in Russian with the remaining four in Georgian. The second workshop will be an all female workshop with refugees. Then we'll do a training for facilitators (T for F) followed by two more workshops, one with refugees and another with orphans. This feels very exciting and challenging and I believe good work will be done by all. The flat that I am staying in has one main room approximately 12" X 20" (The space we're using for the first three workshops as well.) with a tiny kitchen and bathroom attached.  I find myself reminded that each of us carries a measure of the Truth and that for me, there is only that which I think I know, for only God holds all Truth and the Truth as I understand it shifts as the tide of my journey ebbs and flows. I know that when I look for; listen for the truth in another that I will find it and that when I set my expectation; my belief so that I will see negative that probably is what I will find. Toltec wisdom says that we lie to ourselves each time that we say "I'm only human, I'm not perfect." They say that each time we say this that is simply an excuse that lets us off the hook. I believe that we are made in God's image and therefore, at our core, we are perfect if only at that place where we find "that of God within". And so, we are called to work our hardest to reach our full potential: to reach perfection - to be at one with God.

Sakartvelo 5/20/10

The journey to Sakartvelo (as Georgians call their country) has been both a blessing and filled with continued challenges. After delays leaving the airport in Syracuse, holding patterns over the airport in New York, an hour delay in the flight to Istanbul and finally, lost bags, I arrived in Tbilisi. I was met at the airport by Misha (Member of Tbilisi Friends Worship Group and former clerk) and Maia (the AVP facilitator that  I will be working with here in Tbilisi). What a warm welcome! We spent a couple of hours talking about AVP and how we will plan and do workshops and with whom and settling into the flat where I will be staying during our five week sojourn. Many members of the Worship Group hope to become AVP facilitators and so they will be part of our first workshop. Others, including some members of the refugee communities, one of Maia's daughters, and possibly Kety's (who translated our manual and who lives in Florida) sister are hoping to become facilitators as well. We will meet with members of the worship group on Sunday before meeting for worship (6:00 pm) to talk about workshops. I am very excited about seeing all my friends from last trip and to meet attenders who have started attending since my last trip. Since January of 2009 the numbers of members approved by FWCC have doubled (now eight) while more attenders come. We will spend time this afternoon with Misha shopping for food and supplies in the major market in Tbilisi. For me, despite the challenges of the trip, I feel bouyed up and carried forward on a current of pure and Holy energy. I am clear that that energy is a response of Spirit generated by all who hold  me and our work in Sakartvelo in the Light: in prayer. I know that network reaches far beyond people that I have had direct contact with to those who have simply heard of the work that we are here to do and of the plight of the people of Sakartvelo and so are holding us. I am so grateful for that! As I traveled yesterday I found myself amazed at the level of courage that learning to trust in God (a continuing process) has brought me. There is some wonderment that I am called to be in the midst of this work and yet, the Call seems clear - it has been tested again and again. Some might call it pure, brash hutzpah but it is not that. There is trembling within. My only response is to consistently turn it over to God. My constant prayer: Let my words be Thy Words. Let my will be Thy Will. Help me to be your Peace.

God is good

A couple of years ago a Friend doing missionary work in Kenya spoke at yearly meeting. She taught us a call and response The call: "God is Good!". The response: "All the time". As I sit here looking over the last weeks of preparation for the trip to the Republic of Georgia (Sakartvelo as she's known to her people) I am filled with immense gratitude to God and to those who walk with me and allow God to be known through their words and actions. They help me to know the strength to be faithful. When I gave notice to my employer I knew that action would leave me without an income upon my return from The Republic of Georgia. I was willing to accept that and trust that way would open upon my return. I have been amazed and joyful as, over the last two weeks, way has opened and, on June 24 I will return to my job. I am filled with gratitude! I will still be many weeks without pay but I know way will open.

There is an inscrutable dichotomy of incredible simplicity and difficulty. The simplicity is learning to simply say "Yes". Trusting that when Spirit asks us to carry His/Her work that we will be taken care of - that we are not asked to carry more than we can bear. The difficulty is in letting go of the teachings of the world: in letting go of the fear that God will not catch us, will not provide, will not walk beside us each step of the way. My faith is experiential. I know that each time that I trust; Each time that I move in faith, I am rewarded with incredible Joy and a Peace that passes all understanding and so with each new call I am ready to trust more - to say "Yes" with less and less hesitation.

As I pack and prepare translations and make arrangements for Max (my cat)and think of the sixteen hours of travel over nine time zones to reach Sakartvelo I am filled with hope and excitement for the work to come. I am grateful to all of you who hold me in prayer and make this work possible.

God is Good all the time!

On the way to the Republic of Georgia

For months now I have been working with a small Worship Group in the Republic of Georgia to bring the Alternatives to Violence Project (AVP) back to that country. Last year I traveled to Georgia and visited with Friends. I expected to be back long before this but complications with my health and timing with Friends in Georgia have interceded. There are still challenges to overcome: I'm still working to get finances in place - the packing, the making of bean bags - all little things. On May 18th this phase of the Journey will begin as I travel to the Republic of Georgia. The preparations with my employer have tested my resolve and faithfulness as they refused my request for a five week leave of absence; only being willing to grant me a two week leave. I have spent a great deal of time testing with others, with my oversight committee and praying for guidance. In the end, I was clear that I am led to this work and so gave notice. May 14th will be my last day of employment. Having made this decision and carried it out, I feel at peace. I don't know what will come next but I am sure that God will provide.

Hand in Hand

“As the deer longs for the water brooks, so longs my soul for you, O God.” Psalm 42 vs.1

Several years ago a friend asked me what I wanted more than anything else in life. The rapidity and clarity of my response caught me quite off guard. I said “I seek to be at one with God.” It is what I yearn for with all that I am. As a Friend, I firmly believe that there is that of God within me and every other being on Earth and so, in that infinitesimal part of my being I and we are one with God. I am not naive enough to believe that that is the sum of it for God exists far beyond the realm of my human understanding. Indeed, from time to time, when I have found the strength to do as God has required of me, I have drawn near, I have taken a sip from God’s cup and I long for more.

My personal journey has been long and winding: From the child whose secret playmate was God, to the nine year old girl who wanted only a prayer book for her birthday, to the acolyte, to the Novitiate, to the candidate for the priesthood, through failed marriages and broken hopes and dreams it has always been my relationship with God that carried me through: Faith and the fruit it bore. I have been blessed with pain and joy, challenges and gifts that have opened way for the many things that I’ve learned along the way. But we each have our own journeys. Mine is not so very different from yours.

The many twists and turns of life have led me through many changes and understandings that continue to shift and grow over time. It is not the questions that change but the answers. We learn to take risks in the name of L/love. The understanding that it’s not about me or what I think I want rather, what God wants for me. It is the understanding that “all that I am and all that I have” God has given to me. It is the Suscipe – a prayer that is one of the gifts of my time in the Novitiate “Take and receive O Lord, my entire liberty, my memory, my understanding, and my will. All that I am and all that I have you have given to me, and I give it all back to you to dispose of according to your good pleasure. Give me only the support of your presence and the joy of your love, for with these I shall be more than rich and desire nothing more.” After years of praying the Suscipe daily I suddenly understood that it was all of me that I was returning to God; asking God to transform me. That I was asking not that God take control of me but that I be opened to use all that I’d been given as God would have me use it. Not the giving up of all but the freely giving over to All. I began actively listening for God’s will for me and began testing what I believed I was hearing with a care committee. I believed I was being led to do the work of peacemaking. I labored, sometimes with great frustration, with a care committee that pushed me to dig deeper, listen harder, until I could say not only what the leading was but how I was led to live into it. It was grueling work and sometimes I wanted to forget about my care committee and just get going with “the work”. In the end, they were right. The foundational work needed to be done. I came to clarity that the message I need to carry is that the path to peace begins within ourselves; understanding that, as we find our way to inner Peace we radiate that Peace outward – the Peace that passes all understanding. The journey has taught me patience, and how to open to the voice within and the voices of God speaking through others. It has changed me.

Change can be a fearful thing when we try to do it alone. But when we open our hearts and minds and souls to the Love of God both inwardly and outwardly through the love and of friends and community we are supported and uplifted and even though the fear may persist we find the courage to move forward; to change. With God, all things are possible.